Monday, July 5, 2010

Making Community

My wife and I often talk about finding ways to make community. When we were younger and childless, it was fairly easy for us to travel about and make friends-single friends, queer friends-none of us had children so it was easy to see these people. Children bring a new dimension to socializing-one must always think "is their home kid-friendly" "will traveling to (fill in the blank) exhaust the kids?" "are these kid-friendly people" to name a few. Throw in the "hey these are two women raising children" and I don't know it all seems impossible.

Moving to the suburbs has been an education-particularly for this writer who is a city chick through and through. I haven't figured out suburban mores enough to know how to insert my family into the fabric of the community. I know we are known here-our family is fairly unique-but I wonder, is it that we are gay? that we are women of color? that our kids are cuter than theirs (I had to put that in :) )

In any event, I think it's time to be more proactive. Family Pride week in P-town is approaching and I am determined to make community for my family, one queer family at a time.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Lesbian Dad

I didn't realize I didn't post my thoughts on this awesome blog. I've been reading Lesbian Dad since I did a search for queer parent blogs a year ago, desperate to read/connect with other Lesbian and Gay parents out there and lucky me, there was LD. I love reading the insightful posts, and the photos are a welcome and appreciated addition. If you get a chance, read this blog. Good reading to you all!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Hello All:
I hope to get a new round of readers soon during the upcoming LGBT families Bloggers event. This is why I am sitting here this beautiful Memorial Day listening to the Indigo Girls and getting back in touch with writing on my blog about being a Queer woman of color raising two kids with my wife of almost 12 years. I began writing this blog in hopes of exploring, no maybe more dissecting through writing how we live our lives given that no blueprint has been set out for us.

Parenting is no easy task, and I never thought it would be. Some of the things I think are unique to same-sex parents that need to be talked about, dealt with, resolved, and supported, are 1-we constantly are thinking about how people will view our family. 2-we have to remind our children that not all families have a mom and a dad. 3-we have to remind people in the community that not all families have a mom and a dad. 4-people question how we came to be parents. 5-people don't monitor themselves when saying things like "wow your kid looks nothing like you." 6-Canada is much more queer family friendly than the States. 7-we are often the only kind of our family in most places we go (unless it's a queer family event and even then we are often the only POC present). 8-people still expect that one parent is the mom and the other is the dad.

These are certainly just a few things of course. As a woman of color, I often have the feeling that when people see our family they are assuming we are single moms, unfortunately a reality in our communities. I find it hardest for me to be out in the POC community, but I think that's because I just don't know other queer parents of color-at all. Here lies the reason for this blog-to connect with families like mine. I suspect many other LBGT POC parents who are spread across the States or elsewhere might be looking too.

I know we exist-and I hope you reach out to me to let me know you're here via email

Thanks to the Mombian blog I can at least participate in something like this. I think this blogging event is very important given that I have found several other bloggers I visit often via this event last year and I have made a great many connections via the Internet world to other LGBT parents.

I hope to write more as soon as my kids give me a moment to breathe. Cuidate mi gente. Peace.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

All About Avatar

Originally uploaded by OfficialAvatarMovie

If you can spare almost three hours, this movie is worth your coins. Run to see it.

Monday, November 30, 2009

2009 coming to an end

It's almost the end of 2009 and I haven't written as much as I'd like...the holidays are coming and my town is already celebrating. Here in South Jersey, the towns bring in Santa in a fire truck. Last year, the kidlets and I were home waiting for the Mrs. to come from somewhere, and unbeknownst to me, the lighted fire trucks blasting their sirens and bright with Christmas lights, came riding up and down our streets. Firefighters handed out candy canes, and Santa waved from the truck. I probably was more excited than my two kids.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Queer NY State of Mind

Back in the early 90s, I was a young Latina dyke finding herself in a wonderful moment for queerness. Coming out of the closet was certainly difficult, but as my generation found their way to the queer light, they found a community ready to fight to be seen, loved, and celebrated. Reminiscing right now, listening to "Love and Happiness" with La India's fabulous house diva voice, I can easily transmit myself to the streets of the West Village, when on any given night, the streets were packed with a queerly marauding crowd. We looked, we "kee-kee'd", we vogued, we made out under streetlights, we crept on crumbling piers and held on tight to the brown sugar love that came our way by way of the wonderfully useful NYC transit.

And yet, with all that queerness, nothing at that time prepared me for being a 30-something dyke in the 'burbs, a wife and 2 kids to boot. That life was transient, the moment of gayness in that degree feels far removed from me.

Of course, I realize I was living in the zeitgeist of the 90s, a much freer, positive moment in recent history. Sitting here in my introspective mood, my Itunes playing the house music of Little Louie Vega, I sense that spirit is too much a distant memory.

Perhaps that's why I enjoyed watching RuPaul's Drag Race so much, and why I was so drawn to Nina Flowers...I remember literally bumping into RuPaul at the Pyramid, the most East of the Village I ever ventured to.